The United States of Misogyny

On Wednesday, November 17, the United States Senate denied women one more opportunity to gain full legal parity in the workplace. In a 58-41 vote, the Senate defeated the Paycheck Fairness Act (S. 3772). This act, which had already passed the House and surely would have been signed into law by President Obama, would have closed gaps in the 1963 Equal Pay Act. That act lacked the legal teeth to help women prosecute, with some measure of potential success, unequal pay in the workplace. With the upcoming changes in the House and Senate, the chances of the bill being resurrected in the next Congress, let alone making it to the President's desk, are somewhere between slim and none.

After over 40 years of taking a stand for women's equality (I started young - learning about the National Organization for Women from a feminist high school social studies teacher at the age of 15 and being encouraged by my parents - yes, the plural is intended - to learn more about them), I am appalled at where we women still are in the societal pecking order.

I'll acknowledge a few strides: I have an M.B.A., earned over 30 years ago in the first wave of women attending professional schools; I have a daughter who is a pastor - a nearly unheard of female professional opportunity just a few years before she was born. My other daughter feels no pressure to be married, and I like to think my sons have a healthy respect for women. I will even throw in the fact that I was able to have certified nurse midwives and non-interventionist births, thanks to the demands of my contemporaries for more control over our bodies.

But...

During the 2008 election, I had the opportunity to participate in a symposium at the National First Ladies Library, and a reporter from Time Magazine noted how tough the press was being on Hillary Clinton, while it was letting Barack Obama off lightly. This reporter believed that then-Senator Clinton was under tougher scrutiny simply because she was a woman candidate. The reporter also went on to comment that while male candidates could easily get a few powder puffs on the face before they appeared on television, Senator Clinton needed at least an hour to get made up to be acceptable visually to the public.

Then there are the fashions that have come out this past year. They are nothing short of disturbing. Ripped fabric suggests sexual violence. A little show of lingerie in the hem or neckline suggests sexual teasing. The myriad buckles, fasteners, and laces of boots suggests bondage. My daughter tells me that she talks to mothers of little girls who are dismayed at the clothing available for 3-and 4-year old girls. It starts that young. I have a colleague, the father of two daughters, who has expressed dismay over the currently acceptable levels of promiscuity. He wonders if virginity will ever be the rule, not the exception, again. Once again, we are sending girls, and women, the message that their bodies are more important than their brains; being available for sex is preferable to being available to problem-solve.

Women also continue to be treated as second-class citizens in medical care - this despite the fact that they are the gatekeepers for health and wellness in their families. Most medications for conditions common to both genders are tested primarily on men; symptoms that may vary by gender are not readily acknowledged (case in point: a woman having a heart attack may never have chest pain, but she may have neck and jaw pain). In the arena of childbirth, the most essential and precious experience any women can have, doctors have regained control by insisting on medicalizing what is typically a non-life threatening event for over 95% of pregnant women. In fact, the case can well be made that if physicians would treat every potential labor as normal, instead of as a cesarean waiting to happen, they would more readily identify those situations where a cesarean is clearly indicated.

Regardless of your politics, if you are honest you will admit that this country has exhibited a misogynistic attitude toward soon-to-be former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. When she acknowledged the loss of the Democratic majority in the House, she rightly outlined her accomplishments as Speaker during her two-year tenure. They are formidable, but they will somehow be lost in the noise that has repeatedly characterized her with the "B" word.

I did a quick search to find out how many countries have female heads of state. The answer is 15. Here's the list: Brazil. Liberia. Germany. Argentina. Australia. Kyrgyzstan. Iceland. Costa Rica. Lithuania. India. Finland. Ireland. Croatia. Trinidad & Tobago. Bangladesh. Slovakia. With the possible exception of Finland and maybe Australia, none of the other nations has what we would term a rich heritage of gender equality. Nevertheless, women have successfully risen to the top of the political ladder to lead their respective nations, while female candidates in this country continue to be the object of belittlement and ridicule.

We want to believe that we are a nation that champions equality of opportunity, but our experience and our history tell a very different story. The psychologists would say we're either delusional or we're in denial. Those of us who have yearned for total and unequivocal equality would probably say a few other, very unprintable things. Regardless of which label is applied, the realities of the situation are still the same: two and a quarter-plus centuries since the founding of the Republic; 90 years after the granting of women suffrage; and roughly 45 years since the passage of the Civil Rights Act, women are still trying to achieve the equality that should have been theirs, without question, from the start.

Welcome to Air Steerage

The Boeing 757 seats somewhere in the neighborhood of 225 passengers, crammed in groups of three, on each side of the aircraft aisle. Leg room is minimal. Service is even less. On a six hour flight, the airline we traveled created the impression that it was being magnanimous to serve us "complimentary" soft drink beverages and 'snacks' (peanuts, cookies, or pretzels). Let me point out here, before the diatribe gets worse, that these drinks are technically not 'complimentary,' in that the cost of them has been included in the price of my ticket. Therefore, I have already paid for the drink. Once the "service" was completed, the flight attendants disappeared into the plane, hiding behind a curtain in the galley, thereby discouraging any contact with us passengers.

Having just spent the better part of this last year studying the steerage conditions in which my grandparents traveled to arrive in this country, I was struck by the parallels between their excursion and my flight: crowded conditions, indifferent staff, inadequate bathrooms, and lack of policing of other passenger behavior.

On one particular flight, a passenger in the row in front of us had managed to conceal her alcoholic beverages as "3 oz. liquids" in the quart-sized plastic bag that can get through security. She spent the better part of the six-hour overnight flight getting up and down to get more ice and clean plastic cups. Why the otherwise disinterested flight attendants couldn't smell this passenger's breath and figure out what was going on - and put a stop to it - is beyond me. When the flight attendant came by, at the end of the flight, to clean up remaining trash, she merely laughed and said, "I wished I could have joined you."

A few months ago, columnist Peggy Noonan wrote in The Wall Street Journal that we pay people to treat us poorly. How right she is. A woman can get drunk on-board, mutter insulting things to passengers soto voce, and be allowed to remain on the flight. Whereas, had I fully expressed my frustration and anger at the treatment I was receiving from the airline, I likely would have been removed from the boarding line. I paid the airline to cow me.

I will acknowledge that air travel carries with it a set of anxieties that are wholly unique to this mode of travel. In addition to the normal risks that accompany air travel, there are the unexpected issues related to mechanics, hydraulics, and weather. There are increasing tensions as terrorists continue to find ways to use airplanes to conduct their attacks. And there are the dangers that an on-board passenger, or passengers, will put an entire aircraft at risk.

All the more reason, then, that airlines ought to be pushing customer service, care for every passenger, and passenger comfort to the forefront. We know that the FAA demands safety, and that airlines can skirt those regulations at their own peril. Since flight safety should be a given, airlines should treat each of us with dignity and respect. Most of us are flying because we have traveled to see loved ones, taken a vacation, or may be looking for a new place to live. We want the entire memory of our collective experience to be positive - not marred by the unwarranted hassles and indignities that seem to be the stock in trade of some airlines.

We are not "the huddled masses," as were our ancestors. Unlike my forebears, who never planned a return trip across the Atlantic once they arrived here, most of us, myself included, hope for another opportunity to travel again.

I guess I was mistaken in thinking that the indignities of steerage ended when the door to mass immigration closed in 1924. I guess I was wrong. The practice of demeaning passengers has now been transferred to the airport.